What's good, Egyptians?! Sooo…looks like you've come a real long way since the pyramids, huh? Haha, settle down buddy, I'm just fuckin' with you man! 

Seriously though, what are you guys doing later? Ya'll can come riot in my basement if you want. I asked my mom.

My mom said it's totally cool if you guys come over and protest in my basement. It's finished. "Finished" is an American term for basements that have like carpet and shit. We don't just have carpet, there's like a TV and a TV stand and I have Alvin and the Chipmunks the Squeakquel on DVD and Precious on Blu-Ray.

My mom just bought a ton of Cheetos and she said she'll make some steaks for us she said. Well probably my dad'll make em, but whatever. 

So come on over. We can watch the Super Bowl and just riot. The way I see it, this basement is perfect for upheaval and unrest. 

You guys just yell really angrily all day or what? That's really weird. I mean, no offense. But, I don't know, therapy? I mean he's just Anderson Cooper. Don't worry, he's not invited to my basement. 

Revolution and protests: Cool. Leaving your soda on the coffee table without a coaster? NOT cool. Got it? 

None of you hit on my sister, alright?

I'll put on some Beatles really loudly whenever that black woman on the sideline talks to drown her out. 

So come on in, take your shoes off and riot. Let's fight dictatorship, or slavery, or war, or Four Loko being banned, or whatever you guys are protesting.

I just got this huge 26 inch HDTV. It's not 3D, but you know, it's good for a riot or whatever. Just please don't break it.

My mom said some of the angry mob can sleep over, too! Just…my dad's got this collectible glass collection, PLEASE be super careful around it when you're rioting.

My ma's cool with two million plus Egyptians, my dad's cool as fuck too just don't look him in the eyes.

My grandpa's staying with us, too. He's chill as fuck just make sure you don't look him in the eyes neither or he starts having a seizure that can only be stopped with a blowjob.

It'll be a good time. More like MuBROrak, am I right?! No, no, but MUBARAK? BARACK? That proves 9/11 was in inside job. This shit's all connected, bro.

Make sure you park on Emmalane around the corner, NOT in the driveway and NOT in front of our house.

Also, I don't know about you guys, but we recycle here. So just make sure you're putting your empty soda and juice canisters in the blue bin, aight?

Between the chaos we can have some pizza and talk about girls and stuff.

BEST OF ALL: We have the internet.

SO REMEMBER, EGYPTIANS: Riot. Basement. Coasters. Grandpa. Eyes. Seizure. Blowjob. Justin Bieber. HDTV. Violence. Squeakquel. Beatles. Assassination Attempts. Anderson Cooper. Cheetos. Roethlisberger. Recycling.

Text me when you get here!