Hey, it's Paul Frank. I don't think you know me, but I know you.
How is everything? You doing good? Ya alright, buddy?
Alright. I'm just going to come right out and say it.
…I heard your balls are a little under the weather.
What's wrong with your balls, Lance?
What happened? It's okay, we can talk about it. Your balls. We can talk about your balls.
Do you need me to do anything for your balls? (Nothing gay, please.)
I was going to buy your balls some chocolates and flowers when I heard the news, but I don't have any money.
Oh, and I would visit your balls in the hospital, but gas is like 3 bucks a gallon or something.
Last time I checked, your balls were fine. Now they're not.
Get back to me about your balls,