I bought some salmon the other day and went online to find some recipes on how to cook it. I wasn't looking for anything too fancy or complicated. Then I came to this recipe:

Cooking Salmon in a Dishwasher


salmon fillets
aluminum foil
a lemon
a few butter pats
electric dishwasher

Place the fish on two large sheets of aluminum foil. Squeeze on some lemon juice and place the pats of butter on the salmon fillets. Seal the fillets well in the foil, and place the foil packet in the top wire basket of your electric dishwasher. DO NOT ADD SOAP OR DETERGENT. Close the dishwasher door, set the dishwasher on the hottest wash cycle, complete with drying cycle, and let it run through a full cycle. When the cycle is complete the fish will be cooked just right.

HMMM… something sounds FISHY….

Upon further investigation, however, it turns out this is a legit way to cook salmon! Which caused me to rethink everything I know about cooking.

So, in the spirit of things, here are some new culinary techniques I think someone should look into (maybe a chef?):

-Deep frying chicken over a greased, 100 watt light bulb
-Mixing drinks on a subwoofer during Prodigy's “Firestarter”
-Rubbing a genie into a bottle of dry wine (so as not to saturate the genie)
-Boiling peanuts in a flask
-Tossing salad in the dryer with ranch dryer sheets
-Putting a TV dinner in the microwave, then baking the microwave in the oven
-Eating every appliance but the kitchen sink
-Liquifying New York Strip steak in the blender for a pre-workout protein shake
-Knocking out the water in all your fruits using the George Foreman Grill

In related news, I've thrown out my toilet and will now be taking craps on my TV.

Anyone else have some ideas for alternative cooking methods? Leave them in the comments!

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