6 Must-Try Recipes to Read Before Eating the Same Thing as Always
If you devote even an hour to cooking, odds are one of your kids will end up in the emergency room. Again!
Tag: Recipes
If You Don’t Mind Signing This Disclaimer Before You Enjoy That Raw Meat Sandwich
We at Fatty Matty’s Quakin’ Baconz do not assume liability for any health complications and/or death that may arise from the "DOIN’ IT RAW" special.
I’m Replacing Your Zoom Cooking Instructor, But I’ve Never Seen This Recipe Before, So Bear with Me
Oh. This is chicken marsala? I thought Chelsea said “chicken, more salsa!” That’s fine. Shouldn’t be too different.
List: Holiday Cookie Recipe for the Anxious and Depressed
1 cup unbleached sadness / ½ cup confidence, ground down until it becomes an unrecognizable powder / 2 heaping handfuls unrealized goals, crushed
Easy Cocktail Recipes for When All You Have Is a Bottle of Gin
Still Water Gin and Tonic: Just add 1 part gin to 2 parts tap water and serve chilled!
Coffee Mate Unveils 2020 Seasonal Flavors
Minty Mask: A light treat with undernotes of chemically treated paper, this is sure to be a crowd pleaser (socially distanced, natch).
Nothing Says Fourth of July like Hellmann’s New Strawberry-Flavored Mayonnaise
Strawberry Mayonnaise Daiquiris: Sounds terrible, right? The first few are, but I’m on my third one now and I can’t even taste them anymore.
Great-Great-Grandma Mathilda’s Recipe for Eating the Rich
Ingredients: 1 billionaire, appropriately beaten; Kosher salt; Fresh herbs / Serves: 99% of the population, when divided equally.
List: How to Make a Pop-Tort
Remove your hot tart halves from the toaster. Do not use oven mitts or hand coverings. The tarts will be exceptionally brittle.
How to Make My Grandmother’s Famous Cookies and Also Buy the Dairy Farm She Left Me
Homemade cookies are easier than you realize, and so is purchasing my grandmother’s farm. We don’t even need to go through any lawyers or anything.
List: Unopened Quarantine Chain Emails
Re: Re: Re: Super Fun Quarantine Recipe Exchange Re: This will not work if everyone does not fwd this email to their closest 10 friends RIGHT NOW
Recipes for Disaster
Hi, acquaintance from college! Last time I heard from you was in a gun control debate on my Facebook page!