As CEO of Stouffer’s, I’ve Decided to Add 20x the Beef to Our Lasagna
We're always putting our customers' needs first. And they need more meat. So we’re shoving 20 times the beef into our lasagnas.
Tag: Recipes
Cocktails to Serve Party Guests That Have Overstayed Their Welcome and Need to Piss Off
Heat almond milk to a tepid temperature. Look around your little get together and remind guests that it is 9:01 PM on Saturday and it’s getting late.
How to Bake Humblebrag Pie
It’s so easy! Even Adam Driver baked a humble pie when he came over my large home today.
New York Times Restaurant Review: Big Terry’s Truck
The atmosphere of Big Terry’s truck was rustic Americana at its finest, from the American Flag seat covers to the Springsteen on the radio.
At Cookr, We Want You Back!
(March 5, 10 PM) Our analytics tell us you visited our website recently, but you still haven’t re-subscribed to COOKR. Why not?!
Mother’s Day Breakfast Recipes Any Kid Can Cook
Appetizer: Meat Yogurt -- What's the one thing moms love more than fruit? Duh, it's yogurt!
The Recipe to Every Meal You’ll Cook in Your First Real Apartment
Attempt to order Chinese food online. Discover credit card is maxed out. Head into kitchen with acute sense of impending doom.
DIY Face Masks That Heal Everything Except the Adolescent Damage From Claire Zabicky
Let this dry skin mask sit for 30 minutes while you contemplate why everyone else's bully peaked in high school but Claire is now an Instagram celeb.
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s Instant Pot Recipes for Angering Everyone
"Learn The Job Beef Chili" -- I only make this dish when I’m trying to displease people on both sides.
Seasonal Treats to Destroy Your Enemies, From the Belvedere Family Cookbook
Peppermint Razor Bark (p. 194): The easiest and most economical recipe, this sweet is great for either a time-sensitive soirée or a mass sabotage.
Working At This Diner for 35 Years, I’ve Seen All Walks of Life Deny Themselves True Culinary Pleasure
Skylark Diner sucks you in like a black hole and you can't even see the Texas-size soup dumplings over at Xiao Lone Star Bao.
Becca’s Baking Blog: This Banana Bread Will Fuck Your Shit Up
And before you ask, you disgusting skid mark, yes, we’re sifting our dry ingredients before combining. We weren’t raised by fucking mole people.