Welcome to Skog Blog. If you first time reader, me Skog. Skog Old Troll. Old enough to have seen all. Skog ready to declare: Now best time to be troll. Never has human liked Troll as much as now. Human make so many things for Troll. Human pass infrastructure bill to make more bridge. Human make many movies about Troll starring Justin Timberlake. Best of all, Human make Internet. Skog thought Troll Doll craze of '80s was peak. Skog wrong. Peak time for Troll now.
Before internet times, Skog not get love from human. Skog stay under bridge and wait. When human come, Skog ask many question. Human ignore Skog. Skog not let them pass 'til human give answer. Thought if keep conversation going, human grow to like Skog. Skog personality shine after few minutes. Humans never stay and get to know Skog. Make Skog lonely. Bad times. Skog try and find new way to connect with human. Skog try Internet.
Skog no longer alone. Internet let Skog talk to human. Human have no clue Skog Troll. Now, Skog don’t ask question. Just yell thoughts at humans and humans yell back. When Skog see girl, Skog say “U FIRE” because she prettiest thing since cousin Flóki invent fire. This get big response from human. Skog pleased.
Now matter what Skog say, big response. Skog see human dancing. It make Skog face wince and say “THIS CRINGE” into computer. Many human respond. Skog feel smart because many humans agree.
Then Skog see human dancing with large butt cheek. Skog hate dancing, but large butt cheek remind Skog of Troll ruler. Skog say “YES QUEEN FIRE” into computer. This time, Skog make mistake. Skog say yes with letter “A” instead of letter “E”. Skog embarrassed. Instead of make fun, Human love it! All human on internet start talking like Skog. Skog happy knowing Troll have positive impact on human. Skog feel love from human for first time.
Now, Skog on internet all day. Just yell if things cringe or fire. Skog know more human respond when call things cringe. Skog start calling all things cringe. Humans love. Skog love human. Skog thankful to know so many things. Most things Skog thought fire, actually cringe. Skog better Troll because of Internet.
One human, grubchub69, love Skog so much. Grubchub69 and Skog talk all day. We share cringe memes. Human call me fire. Skog develop feelings for human. Human even want to meet Skog! Even better Human want to meet under bridge. Skog know this one chance at loving human.
Now, Skog give twist. When Skog get to bridge, Skog see grubchub69 Troll too! Skog embarrassed. Skog want to love human. But, Skog see beauty in Grubchub. Then GrubChub ask Skog question. Skog stay and get to know GrubChub. Skog and Grubchub now couple. Spend every day talking online under bridge. Skog never been happier.
Skog realize something through journey. Internet not for human love. Internet made for Troll.