Thank you for your interest in this utterly unattainable writing position! Gizviceable Media LLC is a forward-thinking independent company (and a wholly-owned joint venture of Verizon and NBCUniversal) known for launching some of social media’s most recognizable brands, like our flagship blog NewsMash, along with popular verticals like ChowBrow, SpelunkFunk, and Hawker (recently named the #1 gossip site for birds of prey!).

Based out of our multi-million dollar offices located directly inside the spire at the top of One World Trade Center, our New York-based team is growing and we’d love to work with YOU (until the next round of layoffs).

REQUIREMENTS:

This is an entry-level position, so we’re looking for someone with as few as 3 to 4 decades of professional journalism experience. If your previous publication declared bankruptcy or stopped delivering print editions please be prepared to explain why it was entirely your fault and what you will do to avoid a similar outcome here at Gizviceable.

We’re also open to non-traditional candidates, including anyone with 500,000+ YouTube subscribers, independently wealthy children with experience purchasing an LLC (cash only), or any dog with a minimum of 75,000 Instagram followers.

Bonus Points given to anyone who is:

– The accomplished producer of a hit true-crime podcast that successfully reversed the conviction of a wrongfully accused teen (knowledge of ProTools is a MUST).
– A sorcerer or sorceress with a background in dark magic and necromancy (we WILL ask you to summon John F. Kennedy, Jr.’s ghost in the interview).
– The Tony-award-winning creator of Hamilton.

APPLICATION PROCESS:

Please submit a resume, CV, and cover letter along with 12-14 original writing samples in the style of Gizviceable (approx. 700 words each). These samples should cover a range of topics—including national news, politics, consumer tech, sparkling water, and animal husbandry—and must feature stories that have been trending in the last 24 hours. If you don’t hear back from us by 6 PM tomorrow please send 12-14 updated samples so we can be sure to get an accurate sense of your voice.

In addition please include:

– 15 potential headlines for each sample.
– A minimum of 10 tweets you would recommend to our social media team (also hiring!) to promote each story.
– And 1-2 pints of your blood (type O preferred).

PLEASE NOTE:

Due to a recent unionization, this position is full-time but freelance. Health benefits are limited to all-you-can-eat Kind Bars (after a 90-day trial period).

Join upcoming November classes in Satire Writing, Sketch Writing, and Stand-Up Joke Writing.