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1 Peter 1:3: "Praise be to bunny Jesus who is always, like, twitching his little nose."
That time you got your first martini at the airport and took a pic for the group chat before tasting it and realizing you hate martinis.
If your “Stubbornness” and “Performative Masculinity” traits are below a combined twelve, Joe will hire a CPA and the level should be a cakewalk.
I am going into hiding. Do not approach me or say anything that could incriminate me in other crimes, especially new ones.
I tried hiring dog walkers, but I was banned from all those apps because my dog became infamous for always turning up a corpse or two.
We’re thinking of them, we’re discussing them, we’re writing them down, and yes, we will almost certainly be imposing them!
Well, I bet you all felt pretty stupid a month later when we got divorced. You all are just wrong time after time.
Miss Manners will endeavor to offer advice which she hopes will help you be the perfect guest at your knife fight, and as well as keep you alive.
Monet: You’re admiring the haystacks painted on the walls when suddenly the room fills with pastel-tinted water.
The suits on Capitol Hill are scared of an everyday American taking two of our country's greatest pursuits, knives, and recreational explosives.
Did you receive Venmo payments from your ex (Handle @MattDereklol46) AFTER you broke up on July 23, 2021?
I would pet little dogs, big dogs, toy dogs, and dogs that don’t even look like dogs. Boring dogs. Cool dogs. Hot dogs. All the dogs.