For Sale: Breakfast Burrito, Men’s Medium, Like New
It's got professional grade tortillas, reclaimed shredded cheese, and was folded the same way U.S. Navy Seals do out in battlefield cafeterias.
Comedy Writing
I Am a Public Figure on Instagram
See, you’re a normal person that does normal-person things. Not me though. I’ve always been more of a figure--a figure that does public things.
This Isn’t an Oversized Carry On, It’s My Emotional Support Luggage
We’ve only known each other for a short period, which can be quantified as “just shy of Costco’s return policy,” but we’ve formed a intimate bond.