Look Out, I’ve Got a Pair of Fucking Memory Foam Slippers
There'll be a new kind of footstep heard around the house. And that step will be the most comfiest, most memoriest, most foamiest step ever.
Comedy Writing
Welcome to the Ultimate Fighting Championship—But First, a Word from Our Sponsor, Toyo Tires
Champs count on the only tire to receive MMA Magazine’s “Most Ultimate Tire” one year in a row.
For Sale: Breakfast Burrito, Men’s Medium, Like New
It's got professional grade tortillas, reclaimed shredded cheese, and was folded the same way U.S. Navy Seals do out in battlefield cafeterias.
I Am a Public Figure on Instagram
See, you’re a normal person that does normal-person things. Not me though. I’ve always been more of a figure--a figure that does public things.
This Isn’t an Oversized Carry On, It’s My Emotional Support Luggage
We’ve only known each other for a short period, which can be quantified as “just shy of Costco’s return policy,” but we’ve formed a intimate bond.