Humor writing published daily. Featured: Best of Year | Editors’ Picks | People’s Favorites | Satire | Guides | Observations | Stories
We definitely have already done a full marketing strategy, but we want you to complete one too, so that we can compare yours to ours.
Can anybody claim you as a dependent? Would you like somebody to claim you as a dependent? Would you like a kind, older couple to adopt you?
New experiences are scary, unlike the satisfaction you feel when you watch Jim and Pam’s first kiss for the 59th time.
2. Wear it as a Halloween costume! There’s nothing more terrifying than the repercussions of the wedding-industrial complex.
Desire always leads to suffering, with the exception of the desire for an ice-cold glass of refreshing Pepsi-Cola™. That one’s fine.
Every other country on the planet is superior to where I am now, probably. I bet they don’t suffer from the problems found in my current location.
Just kinda set the money bags on your knees. I’d tell you to move the gold-plated racquet holder, but it’s welded to the center console.
If you did not bring the appropriate attire for slithering or clinging, please see me after the welcome circle for gloves and knee pads.
It is with great regret that we inform you that you are by far the worst applicant our university has ever seen.
If these walls could talk, they'd talk incessantly about themselves while never asking you any questions about yourself.
I don’t even have to hunt. I just wait to eat the animals when they’re already dead, easy. And guess what? Things are always dying.
What chance did this damaged little runt have against such a glittering squadron of unblemished beauties?