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I’m the worst, aren’t I? I was so adamant it was, like, the only thing I wanted for Christmas.
Jesus was born on a virgin. A virgin is a kind of a airplane. There was a pilot there called Punch Us.
This Santa is cloned from DNA from the original St. Nicholas, and raised in captivity in our North Pole mock-up.
Taylor Swift "Reputation" Era Cop, Taylor Swift "1989" Era Cop – Good luck resisting this interrogation technique, criminals.
If this is a medical emergency or if suspicious men are breaking into your place of worship, hang up and dial 911.
I give you that quick dopamine rush that makes you feel like your life is actually in your own control.
9:45 AM: “Talk to me,” I say, as I answer my phone.
Like Thanksgiving or Easter, Grublin's Day was on a different day every year, sometimes even in a different month or year.
There are two things that all employers love to hear about: high quarterly profits and hidden treasure.
I know you’ve seen the TikTok reels and DIY YouTube videos, but you do not want to live in a van.
They say time heals all wounds, but that’s only for people who aren’t known by a nickname based on their biggest insecurity.
As you run your fingers over my spine, you think: “This is it. This is the year I get my shit together.”