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On the off chance that something goes wrong tonight, one bridesmaid is currently secured at an undisclosed location.
I don’t take edits: Hey, you’re a fan of mine. Isn’t this the kind of audacity that drew you to my work in the first place?
I blew my advance on a fully-loaded Bugatti Veyron Linea Viviere (MSRP $2.3 million), as well as a series of bespoke leather shirts.
Our goal is that incoming demons feel terrified and resentful as we prepare them for a dark future of inflicting l pain upon mortals.
If the deer flares its nostrils, it means that when you debut a new outfit, at least two people will notice and compliment you on it.
From the moment that Santa delivered Moo Moo to you under the artificial Christmas tree, Moo has felt smothered.
It’s true that in every other context “primary” means first in order. But words and their ordinary meanings can be misleading.
Not "thinning out." Not "George Costanza-ing." Nope. You're going full-on, sunscreen on your scalp, brain-practically-exposed BALD.
Even if the world was ending, I’d be pococurante, like I was in the third round of the Dayton County Regional Bee when my word was "pococurante."
What’s your motive for second-guessing me every second of every day? Every week, we go through the same rigamarole.
Children: No! Ok, I do have one ward. Just the one! She's not my actual child, it’s just… It's complicated.
Who is the real monster here? The tentacled creature lurking in the vapor outside… or were you all the real monster this whole time?