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If I was trying to decide between a human or a chimpanzee as a bodyguard, I'd choose the chimp every time. Would YOU try and punch a 200-pound chimp? Hell no. You're gonna cover your face and try your best not to soil yourself.
Oh my God! Thank you so much for this award. First of all, I'd like to thank Jesus for this award. He's the reason I have this award. If it wasn't for Jesus I'd still be serving baby back ribs at Hooters.
Men, don't fret if you've been burned by a psychotic woman before - I have too. Many many times. Here are 10 warning signs to prevent you from falling prey to this unyielding predator.
Has anyone noticed that to like something these days is to instantly doom it to the realm of discontinued and thus endlessly search for an appropriate replacement? Yes, that includes all your favorite shampoos and TV shows.
This is a forum for human/hick understanding. Please refrain from using words or expressions that might offend our hick counterparts, such as evolution, atheism, liberal, pre-marital sex, etc
This is the greatest cereal I've ever eaten. It's crunchy yet smooth; bitter yet sweet. This cereal is like the Civil Rights movement poured into a bowl.
What if unicorns ran the world? Could such a wondrous time exist? Would they allow regular horses to stay? I'm sure you ask yourself this every day. I know I do.
You are a physiological pacifist and believe in a body where booze and antibiotics can coexist. Alas, modern medicine disagrees, so you decide to stop drinking temporarily. A part of you died on that day.
As an efficient society, we need to lay out some ground rules for this new vending machine rental method. I call these rules, Redboxiquette. Use them to prevent real life movie violence in line.
All my years of watching porn and Animal Planet finally paid off as I combined these ideas into one magical symphony of sex. And I bet you want details about how I pulled this shit off 'cause like me, you are a bunch of sick fucks.
Friends, classmates, brothers and sisters in the human race, we are on the brink of a crisis: old people are starting to use Facebook!
We all stared as you crinkled up the piece of paper, walked across the room, and embarrassed yourself with that jumper. You could probably fit two regulation size basketballs in that trash can, but you still missed that shot.