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From the moment you wait half an hour for a drink, to avoiding a meathead fight on the dance floor, to stepping over vomit at the exit, you couldn't wait to leave the bar/club.
We had it good, women, sitting on our asses all day, popping out the occasional kid, and maintaining absolute silence in the kitchen. And then the feminists screwed it all up.
Dive into innovative and edible salads like The Kevin (lettuce show you how), or spend the night with Kevin Once Stayed at the Waldorf Salad (expensive).
I have outlined the similarities between jobs and the lovely women in my dating pool. Please don't pee in it, you'll wash off their makeup.
How many times have you barbarously bashed a window when you could've courteously climbed through it? Here are 5 crucial tips for transitioning from careless klepto to cordial crook.
The characters you meet at a Harry Potter premiere are a one-of-a-kind bunch that risk social rejection each year to pledge their undying love to a fictional character. Much respect.
We've been together for a year, but I can't do this anymore. Not only do I hate your retarded dog, I hate you for subjecting me to it, under the guise that he would somehow improve.
After Part 1, I still have several Facebook "friends" left that I'd like to alienate, so I will make my point again by ripping apart more annoying posts about kids I've seen recently.
Your new Twisty-Pop® stove-top popcorn maker pops superior popcorn. Before you start popping, take a moment to try the leading microwaveable brand. Not going to do it, are you?
Bullies make life precious. They force you to cherish the little things and give you a deep appreciation for discipline. But it took a concerted effort on my part to bring it to the college campus.
It doesn't matter how insanely hot your girlfriend is—inside every beautiful woman is a teeming mass of insecurity. Which is where the time-honored tradition of trash-talking strangers comes in.
This is the story of my first car, a 1995 silver Ford Thunderbird. It went by many names, most of which incorporated four-letter words I screamed when one of a million things went wrong.