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When I got pulled over this morning, I knew I was screwed. But what if I had a hand to play? Like the 'Get out of jail free card for traffic stops.'
It's that initial trust I give the Phillies front office, Aaron Sorkin, or a random woman with a nice smile. But don't going around giving it away willy-nilly.
Recently, a great man passed away. So many summer afternoons, we'd take his best stuff out and enjoy it at BBQs. RIP, Oscar Mayer. You will truly be missed.
<p><font size="3"><strong>1. Play Hide-and-Seek</strong></font></p> <p>This applies to "Ghosts in the Graveyard," four-square, and pretty much any other game you used to enjoy. If you're still engaging in these activities, odds are you're the only participant over the age of twelve, or you're drunk. </p>
The following are excerpts from the journals of Frank Malinowski, a men's room attendant from Queens, NY, who was replaced by a hand dryer.
When I returned home from the game show, I was ostracized by my peers - mocked, ridiculed, beaten. All because I failed to defeat Kirk Fogg.
It's not your fault. It's just the truth. I wish it weren't, really. I wish I wasn't handsome and wealthy. I wish my genetics weren't superior to yours in every way.
Batman is the best superhero out there. That said, I have made two discoveries involving Robin and the Clock King which have slightly lessened Batman's reputation in my mind.
By personalizing what they love most, men make something already special even closer. Not naming your penis is like forgetting to name one of your kids.
My mom decided my stress level was detrimental to my over all well-being, so she set me up with my first ever acupuncture session.
<p>So, it was late last night, and I had a paper that I didn't want to write and a midterm for which I didn't want to study. Naturally, I was IMing a friend and browsing YouTube when I was suddenly struck by the memories of some of the things that I fear most in life.
Yeah, I'm talking to you. You tool. You coward. You whelp. You - a guy in college - are going out with a high school chick. What. The. Fuck.