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From wedding rehearsals, to cookouts, to sporting events, you've clothed my legs creaseless and made me appear super-intelligent. But now your time is over.
When there is a distinct possibility that you are going to have your ass licked later in the day, you become a lot more conscience of what you eat.
If you are receiving this letter, then you know what that means: the monthly neighborhood orgy is right around the corner and we would like to see you there!
Many states now allow teachers to bring guns to school, which is a BIG change for most teachers, many of whom will have never shot a child at all!
The dynamic duo of entertainment reporters discuss the five-hour line-ups, over-priced merchandise, and 400-pound men dressed as characters from My Little Pony.
It's not sex itself that's such a waste of precious moneymaking hours; rather, it's the way we do sex. Here are some helpful techniques to streamline the sexual process.
George R. R. Martin is best known for his A Song of Ice and Fire. Instead, he's much better known for the amount of procrastination he takes between each of his novels.
"When things get hard...just put one foot in front of the other." I should probably inform you that I followed this advice when I had sex with your girlfriend last week.
#3: Thou Shalt Disguise Narcissism with Humility. This means learning to effectively implement the "humble brag." If you can't do that, just boast instead, whatever.
I don't just look at my dog with fury because that would be cliché; rather, I tend to give her a sad, betrayed look, with a hint of intense bloody vengeance.
Touring and sharing small, intimate spaces with people you don't like being intimate with is tough. But that's just part of the underbelly of band life on the road.
I didn't want to believe it. "I've known him for years," I thought. "Why would he do this to me?" And then I opened up to page 45 and saw the pubic hair.