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Baby wearing is very in right now. You can do the dishes, vacuum, or paddle a lifeboat out of your flooded neighborhood.
You might guess that my embryonic study schedule has engendered absconsion from social connections, but let me disabuse you of this insipid notion.
Now, I’ll admit. I knew the words that I was singing were not in fact “words.” They were more like syllables strung together.
I will eat at a restaurant alone, as long as I can tell a friend to show up ten minutes after I’m seated and join me.
"When we stop for snacks, don't buy the Cookies 'N' Creme Hershey's bar. I bought one last year after my soccer tournament and it made me gag."
Boys and girls can be friends. Girls and statues can be friends. Girls and statues can hold hands, if they want. Or kiss.
During the ten-minute break between sessions, line up your children's stuffed animals in a giant single-file line leading directly to the bathroom.
Forgot I ate three cans of soup (Tuscan white bean, if you were wondering) last night and also decided to get rid of my old tambourine collection.
What we see here is not a rainbow cornucopia of fresh fruit, but a hornet’s nest of shriveled blackberries and fungus-ridden apricots.
Diversification is the key. Celery, onions, and carrots are going to be solid performers and there is no reason not to have some low-risk options.
We at Fatty Matty’s Quakin’ Baconz do not assume liability for any health complications and/or death that may arise from the "DOIN’ IT RAW" special.
We made eye contact right before the huge bag of kitty litter I was holding ripped open and got in my eyes.