Humor writing published daily. Featured: Best of Year | Editors’ Picks | People’s Favorites | Satire | Guides | Observations | Stories
There is a powerful part of me that needs, for just one night a year, some very specific, humiliating things from an outlaw rebel ghost.
"I only had two glasses of wine with dinner." Ah, ah, ah. Correction: you had two AND A HALF glasses of wine.
If you’ve stuck around for the past few years, we want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts, and also ask you how and why you did such a thing.
All that changed when a (unnamed for legal purposes) billionaire “superhero” with no powers showed up and asked me to join his superhero team.
Crying Pods: 70% of employees also reported participating in, during this past year, a daily ritual of “crying my pretty little eyes out.”
You know what I think? They didn't get it... Yes, they just didn't get it. They let a masterpiece slip away, right under their nose.
Teaching has a way of working you down to the bone. And, frankly, I’m tired. Bone tired.
Fair Britannia’s genius has warmed the globe with her belching smokestacks and engines of industry, and the cruel polar ice is in retreat.
No one was as close to me as Elliott. We were two peas in a pod, a regular pair of pals, two elephants in a diaper.
Childhood = Ruined! Kind of like our trust with our landlord if we don’t get that rent in on time.
Finally, he asked me in a deep Brooklyn accent, “You here for the vision board supplies?”
First, close your eyes and allow yourself to settle in. If you are bound or gagged, or both, do not fight it.