Mist. Anyone else notice a strange mist blanketing the neighborhood? Is it just me, or did it suddenly get all foggy outside lol. Thought I saw my neighbor walking their dog and get pulled away by giant tentacles or something 🙁 Hope it clears up by this afternoon so I can get to the grocery store.

Car sounds. Whoever is driving around a 1958 Plymouth Fury and running people over, you are being very RUDE! It is LATE! I have to get up early in the morning, and I can’t SLEEP over the sounds of REVVING ENGINES and people SCREAMING! It does not make you look COOL or MACHO! Be more considerate of your neighbors!!! If I find out who is LOUDLY murdering people with their car, I will report you for NOISE POLLUTION!!!

New shop downtown. Anyone else been to the new shop downtown? It’s like a little antique/curiosity shop? I got a pretty good deal on Buddy Holly’s glasses that have done wonders for my gout, but the owner also asked me to ruin my neighbor’s prize chrysanthemums and plant a threatening letter on their front porch? Still seems like a good deal idk.

Face masks. Just wanted to let you know I am free to provide face masks and go grocery shopping for any elderly couple who might be afraid to leave their house due to Captain Trips 🙂

Plumber. Anyone have a good recommendation for a honest plumber who does good work? A disembodied voice coming from the drain just said something about floating and then shot blood all over my downstairs half-bath. My in-laws are coming over this weekend and I need it repaired ASAP.

Just moved in. Hello neighbors! I’m Kurt, just moved into the Marsten House and opened an antique store! I work nights, so you may not see me around, but be sure to say hello to my roommate Richard Straker! Just wanted to make myself familiar!

Bad dog. Was walking and saw a big dog without leash and several poopy bags that had not been thrown away. I do not like dogs so I stayed away. Later I saw couple trapped in Ford Pinto by same dog frothing at mouth. You should give your dog away if you can’t be responsible owner.

Fundraiser! We’re having a walking fundraiser starting at the Whole Foods on May 1st!

Participants need only bring whatever food or clothing they can carry, but must maintain a walking speed of four miles per hour!

Walkers who go under four miles an hour will receive a warning, three warnings and you will be ticketed (more on this later!!!)

It should be really fun and it’s for a good cause (feline diabetes), plus there will be a Prize for the last walker remaining!!

Stray kitty. Found a stray cat. She seems like a real sweetheart but smells terrible. May just need a bath (she was covered in dirt). We can’t take her in unfortunately (allergies) but didn’t want her to be without a home. Give us a call if you’re interested!

Rehabilitation care. Is anyone looking for help with medical care/occupational therapy? I am a registered nurse and can assist with anyone in need of any help.

Personal care and companionship services may include:

  • Administering pain medications
  • Errands and shopping (reams of paper)
  • Assisting with ambulation, transfer (bed to wheelchair)
  • Cooking and feeding with buckets
  • Companionship/conversation and engaging in hobbies and crafts

Let me know if you have any dirty birds who are “hobbling” about 😉

Email or call Annie, [email protected]

Stray child. Found a stray child. He seems like a real sweetheart but smells terrible. May just need a bath (he was covered in dirt). We can’t take him in, unfortunately (allergies) but didn’t want him to be without a home. Give us a call if you’re interested!