As many people familiar with the Entourage franchise will know, the series focuses around the escapades of a movie star, his three friends, and his agent. However, what you may not know is that the quality of the Entourage movie is so low, it makes Citizen Kane look like a much better Citizen Kane. I can only hope this isn't what entertainment has become.
First off, the directing was appalling.
Not only was the movie filled with a jittering series of graphic images from knee surgeries and strobe lights, but there were multiple times where the movie simply cut to a black screen and flashed text from Adolf Hitler's Mein Kampf. If this is the movie industry nowadays, count me out!
Breaking even the most simple filmmaking rules, parts of the movie were hastily shot in a poorly lit basement, on what I assume to be an iPhone 4. While I understand the growing world of technological innovation, I found it hard to stay progressive through the unfocused, poorly angled shots of the "hostage" character.
Another thing that grinded my gears was the acting, if you could even call it that!
The repeated shots of "Mr. Happy" (the blood-soaked clown for those unfamiliar with the show) screaming into a bucket of rotting seafood were contrived at best, and certainly not Oscar contenders. Although, one scene that did stick out to me was when the green painted feral man, "Green Painted Feral Man," caught a squirrel with his bare hands and retreated to his cave. Too bad though, as this scene was then ruined by a Boeing 777 filled with my loved ones instantly crashing into the cave, followed by four minutes of static. Symbolism is a powerful tool if done right, and this movie used it like it was trying to fix a leaky roof with a Boeing 777 filled with my loved ones.
However, my least favorite part of the movie had to be the writing.
Never before have I seen such a mishmash of languages and dialects, sometimes with characters changing mid-sentence! The scenes had no continuity, with many overlapping into each other, creating an echo chamber of unrecognizable voices, disorienting you to the world as a man in a leather suit comes by and steals your wallet.
Um, no thanks!
And could someone please address the dialogue? With all the blatant ancient voodoo curses carelessly throw into conversation, I could barely follow the plot! Not to mention the cultural references were all over the place, mainly focusing on deep, personal secrets I've never told anyone.
Hollywood, what's going on here?
One aspect I know people were excited for was the cameos, but even they fell through like a Boeing 777 through a leaky roof.
With most of the cameos looping back to "Baboo," a shaved gorilla pumped full of methamphetamines, it felt a tad forced. Even when Hollywood A-listers got screen time, they were all so frightened by Baboo that they immediately fled the set, only to be gunned down mid-sprint.
I know this isn't a family film, but did they really have to personally threaten my family at ever act break too? I call that overkill.
In the end, it really comes down to asking if there is a place for this in filmmaking.
Can artists share the spotlight with the "1000 knife surprise" of the film's antagonist, Chef Whiskers?
Can audiences accept the countless human sacrifices to the dark lord "Steve"?
And will the people responsible be able to churn out more, having already covered live footage of bursting oil pipelines, Seinfeld fan fiction where everyone is Kramer and Kramer is a dead moose, and "Glarp"?
I don't know. All I know is this reporter gives Entourage a 3/10, and would like to leave the theater, if only they didn't lock the doors and release a box of bees once the movie ended.