College Quotes
Jess: I could really go for McDick's right now..
Red Dave: You know McDonald's is like an ex-girlfriend... You only think of her late at night when you're drunk; you know it's a bad idea and you'll regret it in the morning; your friends all try to talk you out of it, but you go ahead and do it anyway.... Who are you texting?
Toni: My ex... what?!? She's my kind of Happy Meal!!
-On why cellphones should come with breathalyzers
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Quick Jokes
That Bearded Cunt, God
Chris: That old bearded cunt.
Kim: Who?
Chris: God, the big high almighty prick. More miracles have come out my ass, thanks to him. Next time, I'm praying to Allah.
-On finding the right fit
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