In social settings where alcohol, sex, and other party favors are readily available, the quotes flow like wine. Please talk responsibly. Submit your quotes »
Gardner-Webb University From Anonymous on September 14, 2012 | Link
"I think I got scoliosis of the liver."
-Dustin, while passing out in the floor
Bowling Green State University From Anonymous on September 14, 2012 | Link
Kent: Joe... why the hell aren't you wearing any pants?!?
Joe: BECAUSE YOU CAN'T BE REF IN PANTS, STUPID!
-Joe, hammered, reffing a drunken wrestling match
Northwestern University From Anonymous on September 14, 2012 | Link
"Why is it that all the fun happens 10 minutes after I leave? It's like the fucking fun mobile is waiting for you 10 blocks down the road and is watching for you to step out the door. When you leave the party the fun mobile flies down the block and 10 naked strippers pop out."
-Dane, realizing he left the party before the strippers arrived and pleasured everyone
SUNY at Stony Brook From Anonymous on August 31, 2012 | Link
Hilary: We'll discuss this when we're sober.
Pete: I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING TALK TO YOU WHEN WE'RE SOBER!
-During a drunken argument
Maine College of Art From Anonymous on August 31, 2012 | Link
"Let's drink until we get Tourette's!"
-Oli, on his ambitions for the night ahead
Southwestern University From Anonymous on August 31, 2012 | Link
"If something ever comes out of my nose when I'm laughing, I hope it's alcohol so I can save it."
-Ash, on snot collectibles
Dominican College From Anonymous on August 18, 2012 | Link
"Dude, if the cutest thing over there has a penis, then I'm fucking going home."
-Ron, hunting for girls at a party
University of Kansas From Anonymous on July 16, 2012 | Link
"C'mon, we're getting out of here."
-Colin, talking to his case of beer on the way out of a party
University of Idaho From Anonymous on July 9, 2012 | Link
"It's hard for me to trust people who don't like beer."
-Park, on liquid trust building
Saint Mary's College of Maryland From Anonymous on July 2, 2012 | Link
"Flush...flush...I'm going down...flush!"
-Neal, warning his friend to flush as his face slowly fell into the toilet full of puke
California State University - Northridge From Anonymous on July 2, 2012 | Link
"WOW! What a looker! I wonder what's going on in his head, cause it's obviously NOT hair!"
-Chari, shouting to her roommates about a bald guy at a party
Other From Rob K. Ito on May 15, 2012 | Link
Rob: I thought everyone was going to the Dog's Bullocks?
Kyle: Well, no one's leaving yet.
Rob: Guess we'll have to pull the fire alarm to get everyone out. Why do we have to be the responsible ones all the time?
-On sparking a movement
Other From Anonymous on May 7, 2012 | Link
Dave (emerging from his room): What time is it?
Dave: ...which 12?
-After a big night out
University of Alabama From Anonymous on April 30, 2012 | Link
"I have to pee so bad it feels like I'm gonna give birth to a urine-child."
-Ali, breaking the seal
Germanna Community College From JJ on April 30, 2012 | Link
Cali: (From the trash can) I just wrote a song!
Cali: (sitting up) I just wrote a song, want to hear it?
Cali: Okay. Trash can bucket.... beside my head.... you are my best friend.... you are my best friend.
Joe: (laughing) That is the greatest song of all time.
Cali: That's important. You are my best friend. You have to repeat that, that's important.