I’m an Atheist Straw Man in a Horror Movie
Have you ever heard of the term "self-fulfilling prophecy?" Maybe the cross is made of some kind of metal that vampires are sensitive to.
Tag: Religion
God Submits a Query Letter for His First Draft of the Bible to the Goodman & Forsythe Literary Agency in New York
We appreciate you allowing Goodman & Forsythe the opportunity to review your fantasy novel, Bible. Unfortunately, it is not right for us at this time.
Welcome Aboard C.U.L.T. Incorporated!
We want our employees to look virtually identical so if one disappears (I mean "calls out") we can just sub someone else into that role.
To: The Lord RE: Your Mysterious Ways
Upper management has been attempting to quell frustration by saying, “The Lord works in mysterious ways.” Well, I for one think that You should not.
How to Meditate in Spite of Your Stab Wounds
An amazing opportunity to find quiet time and space for spiritual healing is as you sink to the ground clutching a fatal stab wound.
Emails from Jesus’s Micromanaging Boss, Phil
Just touching base with you on this month’s miracles. As you know, miracles are one of our key performance indicators this quarter.
I Bought One Floral Dress and Now I’m Deep in the Clutches of a Pagan Cult
Our relationship was mutually beneficial: I gave him a son—Yngvar—and he told me my dress wasn’t “too Coachella.”
With These Latest Mass Shootings, We Condemn the Violent Influence of Princess Zelda, Donkey Kong, and Super Mario
Mario is the lust for violence incarnate wrapped in a disguise of respectability. Those green pipes you see are hardly plumbing simulators.
Approved Amish Party Games
Amish teens form a circle and, when called upon, can choose either Truth or Dairy, two equally adored pastimes.
Identifying Fauxpreneurs in the Wild
Fauxpreneurs believe if you’re not on the ‘gram, you will never become a unicorn. Look for at least three pictures per day showing her “hustling."
Diversity Hire Interview Questions
When did you know you were diversity? What do you know about the lack of equal opportunity at our company?
Emeline, Please Respond, For the Squid’s Power Only Grows
An orange squid has entered my dreams, watching me practice my ascending spin and barrel sculls with languid disinterest. I cannot banish him.