Money | Page 10 | Points in Case

Tag: Money

It might look like I have a pretty good gig, but don’t you think this is kind of fucked up?

You have family wealth and a car that turns into a plane, whereas I am $73,000 in debt with a degree in Applied Puzzles from Gotham University.

Here in Human Resources, we are consistently e-applauding each and every one of our hard-working, self-sacrificing rockstars.

If you ate all that, we’re astonished you are alive to read this notice. Your arteries must be as hard as bricks.

Keep all your pockets slick with oil. You can humiliate them further by saying, "What's the matter bud? Can't get a grip?"

Once the chardonnay finishes aging in early 2039, we need a little more labor out of you before your first check.

Any attempts to unionize will bounce you to the beginning of your shift at your second job driving for Uber, over and over again.

"Print out a prepaid shipping label." We’re aware there’s no logical reason for a partly-employed 24-year-old to have a printer.

Unfortunately, I do have to make a living. As it turns out, the only subject I’m really educated on—beyond punching things—is a dying industry.

How lucky are we to have a youngly Master of Business Administration as land-lord! Thou hast every right to levy rents from my labour.

I really believed that a gang of scrappy, oddball teenage underdogs like us could pull this off against all odds.

I am so tired. So worn down. I don't want to fight this anymore. Please. Send me a bottle of Lavender Serenity, because it's time to give in.