The Embarrassing Origin of the Douchiest Gym Word Ever
The barbwire tattoo around this douchebag's arm essentially screamed, "None of my shirts have sleeves and I punch walls when I get insecure about my small penis!"
Tag: Gyms
Take Your Eyes Off Twitter and Do Your Fucking Lifeguarding Job!
A new problem is on the rise in this techie world of ours: lifeguards texting at public pools. Get the hell off your phone and back to your minimum wage toil!
I’m the “Him” From the “Trainers HATE Him” Ads, and I’m Sorry
I must confess: I'm the "him" that personal trainers hate from all those ads. I stumbled upon a simple trick to cruise past weightlifting plateaus and gain 42 pounds of muscle in just one month.
8 Tips to Avoid Queefing During Yoga Class
If you get stuck in a pose and you know you can't get out of it without queefing, simply stay in that pose for the rest of eternity.
CrossFit is a Cult
Did you hear the one about the woman who was engaged to a man who decided to marry CrossFit instead? Settle in, I'll tell you her story.
Why You’re Never Actually Going to Go to the Gym Tomorrow
Maybe it's my generation's need to always be entertained, or maybe lifting a heavy metal bar up and down just isn't my idea of fun. Either way, I'm on a gymless streak.
Gym Etiquette for the Non-Meathead
Some people might accuse you of wasting your time in the gym. There are rules to follow, after all. Rules set by bigger men... and scary women.
The Uncomfortable Luxury of Fitness Clubs
I would gladly exercise if it weren't for my burning hatred of physical activity, compounded by the wretchedness of the fitness club environment.
Face Friends in the Gym
<p>A guy I barely know and whose name I cannot remember once told me that he didn't workout because he hated math. I think that's the best excuse for not working out.</p>
Open Letters to Shorty Shorts Man and Fancy Gym Guy
If by some miracle I got the chance to talk to Shorty Shorts Man or Fancy Gym Guy, here is exactly what I would say.
Dos and Don’ts of the Gym
There’s a lot of things going on in the gym. It can be a confusing place, especially for fucking idiots. For example, taking a leak in the shower is OK; jacking off in there is NOT.
Losing the Freshman Fifteen: Gym, Sweat and Tears
Even if you do get up to the energy to keep off (or more likely, get rid of) the freshman fifteen, gym culture isn't exactly a walk in the park.