We will make our own at-home exercises—ones that won’t make you want to lay on your floor begging God or Satan for a moment of relief.
We offer absolutely no supervision to inhibit your individualized sense of what’s proper and safe technique. Weights will be scattered about.
Whatever kind of minority you are, it would be helpful if you could be very visible about your minority status, at least in company photos.
I am simply part of the gym’s existence, like the water fountain and the ambient hip-hop music piped in through invisible speakers.
The confirmation page for my gym hadn’t even loaded before I put out a group text to my closest friends telling them that I was a CrossFit guy now.
The only exception to the wine rule is for post-work networking drinks. You don’t want to make the other person feel bad about drinking wine!
This is a wily attempt to mock us, isn’t it? You’re clearly fit, gorgeous even. You did it! Congratulations, but that’s it. Why are you still here?
I finish my first Peloton class and am so proud of myself I have a small panic attack. You can get panic attacks from joy, right?
And when I turned to find you, you were gone. How is that even possible? How could I fail to notice your location or distinguishing features?
Take Time To Ideate: Commune with your butt on the shape and altitude you’d like to achieve together.
This contraption will gyrate you vigorously while asking you about sense-certainty, the super-sensible, and collective consciousness.
Yet another advantage she has over me and my perpetually degrading corporeal being that needs stupid shit like food and water and exercise and love.