1. All of the stationary bikes have connecting wires leading to a generator.
If you spot several cords running from each bike to a loud, industrial-sized motor box, there may be an explanation: your spin instructor has been storing your energy inside a large generator without your knowledge. If the generator has a dial component labeled, “Lake House” and your instructor has kept you there pedaling for several hours until the meter reads “full,” well, there’s a strong chance you could be supplying power to his getaway cabin.
2. He motivates everyone in class with imagery of a well-powered cabin.
Having a positive voice cheering you up that next incline with words of encouragement can really go a long way. With that being said, if you hear phrases like, “pedal like my kitchen appliances depended on it,” or even, “my preference is to keep all my cabin lights on and you’re going to make it happen,” this could be a huge red flag.
3. The slowest pedaler in class has been reassigned to the human-sized hamster wheel.
We’ve all had days when the pedals aren’t moving as quickly as we’d like, but if your instructor has reassigned you to the neon orange standing wheel, it’s nothing to look past. It may be hard to come to terms with, but your spinning isolation chamber is producing enough kinetic energy to power both your spin instructor’s Magic Bullet Blender and retro Ghostbusters pinball machine.
4. He asks for opinions on wood samples in between intervals.
You’ve just completed a grueling uphill climb and find yourself being asked to pass around small pallets of wood amongst your peers. Seems nice that he wants the collective opinion of his spinning pupils right? Wrong. This false establishment of trust is just allowing him to validate his decision to go forward with cherry oak for his lake house kitchen cabinets on your spin time.
5. A substitute instructor has been filling in for weeks.
If your instructor has been absent for an extended period of time, there’s a chance he’s reaping the benefits of electricity in a secluded lakefront property at the expense of your hard work. Although, if the temporary instructor has seldom used the class taser when pedaling slows down, enjoy the well-deserved break!