I’m a Victorian Strongwoman and I Have Some Questions About Your Gym Membership
What is the schedule for the weekly emptying of the communal slop bucket---do we each take turns?
Tag: Gyms
You Thought I Was Just Some Dad, Until I Did One Bad Pull-Up on These Monkey Bars
Now you’re thinking, “Wait, is that kid’s sexy childless uncle visiting from somewhere cool like Denmark?”
Did I Tell You I Take Cold Showers Now?
My god, are my mornings agonizing! But it’s all worth it. The ice shards in the body wash act as an exfoliant and all day long my skin radiates.
Thoughts from My Yearly Run
I’m not stalling, I swear, I just need to Google best-stretches-running-question-mark.
Five Grueling Core Exercises That Are Still Easier than Openly Expressing Emotions
Feelings of guilt and shame will give you the boost you need to keep on crunching. Your core will thank you!
How to Do the Perfect Squat
Popular squat varietals include Back Squats, Front Squats, and Boot Cut.
Cancel Your Gym Membership in Three Easy Steps and One Impossible Minotaur Fight
Step Three: Click the “Confirm Cancel Membership” Button. Step Four: Unsheath that broadsword, foolish mortal!
Are You Getting Enough Protein, Bro?
How many grams of protein do you consume each day? What do you mean you don’t know? Don’t you count your macros, bro?
I’m Your Yoga Instructor and I’m Hitting on Some Weirdly Specific Things About You During This Class
Resist the urge to open your eyes and do a quick scan of the room, evaluating people’s yoga wear.
FAQs About How to Give Women Unsolicited Gym Advice
"It wasn't so much a specific question, but her vibe was like–" DON'T.
Welcome to Your Hotel’s Meager “Gym”
Wipe down equipment after use with one of the damp napkins placed atop our overflowing garbage bins.
Guy Who’s Been Going to the Gym for One Week Answers Your Questions
How do I use this machine for exercise? Just sit back and push up on the sad branches/robot arms, letting the weight fall back down with a loud SLAM.