Gyms | Points in Case

Tag: Gyms

Resist the urge to open your eyes and do a quick scan of the room, evaluating people’s yoga wear.

"It wasn't so much a specific question, but her vibe was like–" DON'T.

Wipe down equipment after use with one of the damp napkins placed atop our overflowing garbage bins.

How do I use this machine for exercise? Just sit back and push up on the sad branches/robot arms, letting the weight fall back down with a loud SLAM.

Okay Peloton community, we’re about to slim down that inbox! Take a deep inhale and move those unread messages straight to the trashcan.

The equipment is hazardous and doesn’t even work. Yesterday, I pulled the power cord from Debbie’s treadmill and the thing just stopped on a dime.

I don’t appreciate him shaking his moneymaker on my television set to the tune of four easy payments of $19.95.

You shall meet Ra, the Supreme God of the Sun and Creator of All Tan Lines. He will teach thee how to avoid straining thy intervertebral joints.

Does everyone have a string of rosary beads? It's very important to warm your muscles by lightly flagellating your body.

Assume a plank pose on the mat that you ordered from Amazon, mentally petitioning Jeff Bezos to treat his employees properly.

Phrases evoking imagery of a well-powered cabin like, “pedal like my kitchen appliances depended on it,” could be a huge red flag.

While I could find satisfaction in work, the steps I take while pacing tearfully in the work bathroom help me add thousands of steps each week.