Welcome to Your Hotel’s Meager “Gym”
Wipe down equipment after use with one of the damp napkins placed atop our overflowing garbage bins.
Wipe down equipment after use with one of the damp napkins placed atop our overflowing garbage bins.
How do I use this machine for exercise? Just sit back and push up on the sad branches/robot arms, letting the weight fall back down with a loud SLAM.
Okay Peloton community, we’re about to slim down that inbox! Take a deep inhale and move those unread messages straight to the trashcan.
The equipment is hazardous and doesn’t even work. Yesterday, I pulled the power cord from Debbie’s treadmill and the thing just stopped on a dime.
I don’t appreciate him shaking his moneymaker on my television set to the tune of four easy payments of $19.95.
You shall meet Ra, the Supreme God of the Sun and Creator of All Tan Lines. He will teach thee how to avoid straining thy intervertebral joints.
Does everyone have a string of rosary beads? It's very important to warm your muscles by lightly flagellating your body.
Assume a plank pose on the mat that you ordered from Amazon, mentally petitioning Jeff Bezos to treat his employees properly.
Phrases evoking imagery of a well-powered cabin like, “pedal like my kitchen appliances depended on it,” could be a huge red flag.
While I could find satisfaction in work, the steps I take while pacing tearfully in the work bathroom help me add thousands of steps each week.
We will make our own at-home exercises—ones that won’t make you want to lay on your floor begging God or Satan for a moment of relief.
We offer absolutely no supervision to inhibit your individualized sense of what’s proper and safe technique. Weights will be scattered about.