The Management of the Lakeview Plaza 8-Plex Requests Your Feedback (And Apologizes in Advance for the Toenails)
On a scale of 1 to 10, what the hell are these spots on our seats? Cigarette burns? The management just had these seats reupholstered!
On a scale of 1 to 10, what the hell are these spots on our seats? Cigarette burns? The management just had these seats reupholstered!
Most people aren’t comfortable with the genetic modification of life, but He isn’t bothered by what most people think. / He works in mysterious ways.
“Article II Looks Good On You” (The Journal of Bizarre Constitutional Arguments, December 2012)
I low-balled a museum in Plymouth into selling me wax statues of sick Pilgrims from their “passengers who didn’t survive the Mayflower” exhibit.
My backstory is abuse, the type doesn’t matter. Bullies, a family member, a boyfriend who is so overwhelmingly not in my league.
Aries: You’re no conformist! You’ve accepted that and so should the US government. They haven’t though, so you’ll fake your own death.
Qualifications: Ability to fire one-liners and innuendo, as well as sex appeal. You don’t follow rules, but you live by your own personal code.
In Who-ville, critical thinking is not valued as a trait. No, rumor and hearsay are given far more weight.
No one cared about me. The main story suddenly became Hannibal's unique style of investigation and vague allusions to a troubled past.
Slowly add in the dry mixture until combined. The batter should be rough as the terrain near the Washougal River Basin in Washington state.
Why couldn’t the palm tree go to the ski resort in Switzerland? Because it was alpine and also they are not native to the temperate climatic zone.
If you SEE something delicious, SAY “that looks yummy!” If you SEE something nutritious, SAY “I think I’ll go back to the yummy thing from earlier.”