‘Twas the Flight Before Christmas
My seat had no window, I'd wasted my cash / on a seat in the middle by a guy with a rash
Tag: Christmas
Forget Santa’s Lap, Here’s Where I’m Sitting This Christmas
There is no way ol' Kris Kringle is going to remember what I asked for… until now. This holiday season, he is going to remember my name.
Tips for Enjoying Our Holiday Market While You Wait in Line to Get In
Wearing multiple warm layers will ensure that you don’t end up in the ER with hypothermia.
Heads Up! This Church Choir Is About to Sing the Hell Out of “Little Drummer Boy”
Don’t you dare be soothed into chorale complacency by our initial thin delivery and ambiguous harmonies.
Come On Man, Just Let Us Adore Him
Dude, I cannot wait to get in there and silently appreciate the little fella. Let’s go!
Resignation Letters from Hallmark Movie Heroines
As you know, I have just spent the holiday season visiting family in my hometown, Fir Tree Falls.
Mariah Carey Asks If You Got a Gift Receipt
I’m the worst, aren’t I? I was so adamant it was, like, the only thing I wanted for Christmas.
The Meaning of Christmas, by Bobby Taylor, Age 6
Jesus was born on a virgin. A virgin is a kind of a airplane. There was a pilot there called Punch Us.
Pictures with Santa Packages, from Best to Cheapest
This Santa is cloned from DNA from the original St. Nicholas, and raised in captivity in our North Pole mock-up.
It’s Me, Rudolph, and I’d Love to Stop Reliving My Childhood Trauma Every Christmas
They say time heals all wounds, but that’s only for people who aren’t known by a nickname based on their biggest insecurity.
Tired of Demure, Uptight Christmas Nuts? You Need Emeton’s Loose Nuts This Holiday Season
Emeton's Loose Nuts are meatier, more sensuous, more lissome, bustier, than those ordinary strait-laced nuts.
Every Single Website’s Holiday Gift Guide for Dad
A profoundly boring pair of plaid PJs ($499.78)