15 New Fall TV Shows to Fill That Bottomless Hole in Your Soul
The new TV season means tons of great entertainment to distract you from that nagging voice in your head that keeps begging you to END IT ALREADY.
Tag: America
I’m the Only Thing Standing Between You and That Freak Mike Pence
Mike Pence, best vice president, maybe ever. Problem though: he's a nutcase. Totally unhinged. And I'm the only one preventing that freak from taking power.
Donald Trump’s Google Search History
Go citizen voyeur incognito mode on our president's Google search history. Inhale, breathe, ponder deeply, wonder, pass out.
Will These Politically Correct Millennials Stop Pointing Out My Character Flaws?
When I was younger, me and my other white male friends could have serious and rational discussions about things without being so easily offended.
The End of the World Will Get Such Great Ratings
Ratings only gonna get better, only higher with all this North Korea drama. I'm telling you, the end of the world is gonna do so well on TV.
15 Alternative Birth Control Methods in Trump’s America
A helpful list of alternative and underutilized birth control methods for women worried about potential changes to American healthcare laws.
Why are People Talking About My Son Instead of Ivanka?
My children, folks, so beautiful, so terrific. But one still stands out, the gorgeous Ivanka. So all this talk about Don Jr., all these fake news stories, who cares?
High School Yearbook Profiles of Trump’s Top Cabinet Members
Superlatives for Michael Richard "Mike" Pence: "Most Highlighted Bible," "Most Likely to Stay on This Side of History," and "Best Hair."
Answers to Five Burning Questions We All Have for Anthony Scaramucci
Usually Anthony Scaramucci likes to be called "Mr. Scaramucci," "CEO Scaramucci," or "The Dark Lord of Business." But he'll also answer to "Tony Scrambled Eggs."
The 7 Sexiest Airport Departure Lounges in Florida
For all you thrill-seekers planning your next naughty weekend in the Sunshine State, here's our definitive visitor's guide to the sexiest airport departure lounges in Florida.
The Wall Was Just a Racist Metaphor
I hear these liberals saying, "Look, President Trump hasn't done anything—no wall!" Didn't get that when I said "build a wall," it was just a racist metaphor.
Apology Perks for Tourists Visiting New York During Trump’s Presidency
In an effort to atone for the most powerfully embarrassing New Yorker on the planet, New Yorkers are now offering insanely generous perks to tourists visiting this summer.