Mike Pence high school yearbook photoMichael Richard “Mike” Pence

Activities: Bigot Brothers Bigot Sisters, Intelligent Design Club, Elkhart Mission Trip, Students Against the Decriminalization of Sodomy (Founding Member)

Senior Superlatives: “Most Highlighted Bible,” “Most Likely to Stay on This Side of History,” “Best Hair”

Ambition: Marry Mother

Rex Tillerson high school yearbook photoRex Wayne Tillerson

Activities: Boy Scouts of Real America, Adopt-A-Coal Plant, “Conrad Birdie” in Spring production of Bye Bye Birdie, Russian Club

Senior Superlatives:Firmest Handshake,” “Only Student Named Rex”

Ambition: “Conrad Birdie” in Broadway production of Bye Bye Birdie

Betsy DeVos high school yearbook photoElisabeth Dee “Betsy” Prince

Activities: Young Republicans, Young Billionaires, Young Republican Billionaires, Glee Club

Senior Superlatives: “Most Private School Spirit,” “Most Likely to be Rich Already,” “Nicest Maid”

Ambition: Edjukader and Fillanthrupiss

Thomas Edmunds “Tom” Price

Activities: Students Against Socialized Medicine, National Rifle Association Youth Ambassador, Straight-White Alliance, Circular Debate Team

Senior Superlatives: “Most Likely to Find a Cure for Cancer Then Immediately Destroy It So as Not to Play God,” “Best Smile”

Ambition: Decrease the surplus population

Jeff Sessions high school yearbook photoJefferson Beauregard “Jeff” Sessions III

Activities: Prom Imperial Wizard, Mock United Confederacy, English Only Club, Volunteer Book Burning

Senior Superlatives: “Class Minstrel Clown,” “Most Likely To Become Infamous,” “Best Square Dancer”

Ambition: Solve the Great Horned Owl Spirit’s riddle and become a real boy

Steven Terner “Steve” Mnuchin

Activities: Mathletes, Teens Against Bullying of Big Banks, Offshore Financial Exchange Program, Hedge Fun!

Senior Superlatives: “Most Likely to Foreclose on His Teacher’s Home,” “Most Unique Neck”

Ambition: Produce an Entourage movie

Ben Carson high school yearbook photoBenjamin Solomon “Ben” Carson

Activities: Fake Science Bowl, Ancient Egyptian Architecture Appreciation Society, Mandatory Anger Management Classes

Senior Superlatives: “Mostly Well Meaning,” “Pretty Innocuous All Things Considered,” “Could Be Worse”

Ambition: Cautionary Tale

Steve Bannon high school yearbook photoStephen Kevin “Steve” Bannon

Activities: Fellowship of Anti-Semitic Athletes, Chief Strategist to the Student Council President, Puppetry Club

Senior Superlatives: “Most Likely to be Your Boss’s Boss”

Ambition: Burn it all down to the ground