All the neighbors are talking about us nowadays.”

“I don’t think planting trees in the backyard is going to fix this.”

“You’re making me gasp in bed for the wrong reasons.”

“You should’ve told me about your fascination with cow urine before we got married.”

“I can’t go on living here unless you start coming through on your promises.”

“We’ve got 99 problems, and that’s only because you’re counting 1/10th of them.”

“I don’t think this is the time to go on a tour of the country.”

“Lately, our pictures on Facebook have been less than flattering.”

“My mom thinks I should’ve settled down in America like the rest of my family.”

“I don’t understand why you won’t even talk to me.”

“The both of us know you’re overcompensating with the size of our new house.”

“You’re secretly a Nazi, aren’t you?”

“Please shave that beard, it doesn’t suit you at all.”

“No, I still don’t get why drinking cow urine could be the solution to this.”