1. You’ve spent a majority of your time talking to animals instead of other people.
  2. You’re barely recognizable under your wild mane of hair and your massive jungle beard.
  3. You frighten people by running up to them in public and exclaiming, “It’s me! Remember me!?”
  4. You atone for mistakes made before your unexpected disappearance.
  5. You became very well-acquainted with someone known as the Tiger King.
  6. Your outdated cultural references get you called things like “Grandpa,” “Boomer,” or “Tarzan.”
  7. You have an impressive knowledge of botany and horticulture due to either a new hobby or the sake of survival.
  8. You have to buy new pants since you were significantly smaller the last time you wore them.
  9. You’ve been waiting for a miracle to occur so you can finally escape, like a vaccine, or someone rolling a 5 or 7.
  10. You have to rely on children to guide you through the current socio-political landscape.
  11. You are no longer fazed by the idea of a murderous swarm of hornets.
  12. You realized toilet paper is not as necessary as you thought it would be.
  13. You’ll do everything you can to prevent it from happening again, such as listening to science or convincing Jim and Martha Shepherd to cancel their upcoming ski trip.

1-13: Re-entering society after a year of quarantine.
1-13: Re-entering society after 26 years stuck in Jumanji.

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