1. “I’m absolutely sure that I’ve never cried this much in my entire life.”

2. “I was supposed to be having the time of my life.”

3. “I'm not sure why it is, but I love food more than just about anything else.”

4. “In other completely unrelated news, I’m heartbroken.”

5. “I’m starting to wonder if I’ll die alone.”

6. “I thought it must be the worst thing in the world.”

7. “I’m in a bad mood and nothing can change it. Not even if we’re having pasta for dinner.”

8. “I’ve decided to swear off of love for the next decade at least.”

9. “The day I went into physics class it was death.”

10. “Then I knew what the problem was. I needed experience.”

11. “I just can’t stop thinking that I’m the only person in the entire world who’s never had sex.”

12. “I couldn’t see the point of getting up. I had nothing to look forward to.”

13. “I’m not going to ever speak to her again. I don’t even care anymore if she changes her mind.”

14. “I think I’m becoming an alcoholic.”

15. “The silence depressed me.”

16. “I felt like I was dying. No one will ever be able to fill this void in my heart.”


The Bell Jar: 2, 3, 6, 9, 10, 12, 15
My diary: 1, 4, 5, 7, 8, 11, 13, 14, 16

Join upcoming November classes in Satire Writing, Sketch Writing, and Stand-Up Joke Writing.