The one where we ask each other who we should start in fantasy football and how many leagues we're in.

The one where my coworker asks if I did anything fun this past weekend.

The one where I try to explain to my conservative step-father who doesn’t see color that calling protestors “thugs” is racist.

The one on Tinder that for some reason always starts with “heyyyy.”

The one where we talk about how Game of Thrones really fell off in Season 8.

The one with the Uber driver en route to a 7:00 am flight.

The one where my family asks if I’m seeing anyone these days.

The one where you ask me how much money I make per year, if I don’t mind you asking.

The one where you ask me how much money I pay per month in rent, if I also don’t mind you asking.

The one where my mom asks if I’ve found a therapist yet.

The one where I have to ask my classmates from high school to stop sharing Fox News articles from 2014 in the comments section of my Facebook posts.

The one where my doctor asks me how many alcoholic beverages I have in a week and I say five but it’s really more like thirteen.

The one where my doctor asks me whether or not I’m sexually active, and if so, whether or not I use protection.

The one where my doctor asks me to take off my pants and let out a hearty cough.

The one where my doctor asks me if I’ve switched insurance providers because they can’t find my information on file.

The one about the weather.


And now a quick joke...

I’m sure whales have a very beautiful name for them, but to humans, they’re called blowholes.