1. Each time you look at me with your deep dark eyes, it unlocks something deep within me and I come to life.

2. I look killer top-to-bottom, edge-to-edge with a sexy, curvy, light, and thin hot bod.

3. I am not millennial, I am 5G.

4. Pleasing to the eye is passé, call me a Super Retina.

5. Nothing can break me. I'm not cosmetic, I'm ceramic, silly.

6. I can survive at a depth of six meters under water up to 30 minutes, unlike your ex who just quit it over a spilled lemonade.

7. I will not be caught dead following an outdated trend. I now crunch on bionic chips because organic is so 2020. #NewChipOnTheBlock #EasilyPowerful #NotAPaidPromotion

8. Your privacy is my priority. If you have been tracked, blame it on your ankle bracelet.

9. I come with no luggage, so there's little to unbox. Since I am a sample size, I can easily use your ex's stuff lying around the house. Fit is not a problem.

10. I respond to your touch every single time as you stroke me in all the right places. I enjoy your finger work as you pinch and glide down my smooth body. If we work so well together, it's because you press all the right buttons.

11. I am here to bring to you in vivid detail all the wonders of the tizzy night with an aperture that is just tight and right.

12. I have my insecurities. I am always worrying that you'll ditch me for the next hot model.


New iPhone: 112

Perfect Girlfriend: Can be purchased at Apple Inc.


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