A while back I wrote a column about the possibility that something like fifty percent of all the mortgages in the entire country might be illegal. Well, a judge in New York decided to agree with me. This is important. Or rather, it would be if anyone believed anything was real anymore.

House wrapped in chains and padlockYou see, dear readers, there was a time when the stock market negatively reacted to bad news. And I would love to go into details about how all this fake money creation (quantitative easing) has effectively turned the stock market into a stoic old man who simply goes about his daily routine at work while the world falls apart around him but my blood pressure spiked again and I'm just generally not in that kind of mood. If I were a Jedi, it would be very obvious that the hate is strong within this one. And this hate must be contained.

Since I pointlessly and needlessly brought up what I'm not writing about and I destroyed my computer's delete key, I will now get to the mother fletching point.

As I have mentioned that I have mentioned, all mortgages that were bundled into securities transferred through an electronic system called MERS. MERS was the last holder of loans before they were securitized. MERS was not allowed to hold the notes for these loans because MERS was not a corporation or human with the right to hold loans and therefore could not sign the note stating that it owned loans and therefore no one owned MERS loans because chain of title was broken and therefore no money had to be paid to the banks that used MERS.

Banks literally violated a mortgage practice that is older than the entirety of America and a judge has ruled against their stupidity. Basically, the entire process of securitizing mortgage loans went against mortgage law. Some lawyers found this out. They sued some banks. And they fucking won.

Blare the trumpets!

Wow. Sorry about that. For one second, I thought I lived in a free country that protected its citizenry. But I live in a purchased bastion of corruption that protects rich bankers and rich bankers only. You see dear readers, if this decision lasts through the many appeals every bank will put it through (it won't—they bought the courts years ago back when they bought the office of the president) then the owners of our precious economy will go to the legislative branch of our government.

As the judge who ruled in favor of humanity wrote:

"It is up to the legislative branch, if it chooses, to amend the current statutes to confer upon MERS the requisite authority to assign mortgages under its current business practices."

In other words, the government has a back-door they can use to make this work for the banks. The government can basically just say, "Well, we didn't know that at the time and it may be illegal now but we can always enforce the existing MERS contracts because… well just because. Oh and fuck you."

That's how our government talks to its people nowadays.

So, to recap: most humans shouldn't have to pay their mortgages because most banks used an illegal process to hold the mortgage notes. The banks failed to follow one of the most basic rules of mortgage investments: the chain of title. They literally violated a mortgage practice that is older than the entirety of America and a judge has ruled that because of their stupidity, people do not have to pay these banks back the money they were loaned. Now, the government will more than likely make this illegal process temporarily legal because our government works for the banks. So there will more than likely be precedent set that, in the United States of America, it is perfectly legal to defy mortgage law if someone in the White House can describe the offending business as too big to fail.

In summary of the summary: Fuck.