>>> The News: JAY KAY!
By staff writer Amir Blumenfeld
June 30, 2004

The real news (for boring people)
The breakdown (for college people)

Teacher Accused of Sex With Middle School Student

TAMPA, Fla. – A 23-year-old middle-school teacher was charged with having sex with a 14-year-old student in a classroom, at her apartment and, once, in a vehicle while the teen's 15-year-old cousin drove.

What the hell?! A 15-year old can't drive?!! Unless….

Detectives said that the cousins provided matching statements incriminating Debra Beasley Lafave and that the 14-year-old described Lafave's apartment and her tattoos and birthmarks.

“And she had one tattoo right above the vagina that I inserted my penis into!” the 14-year-old boy added.

Lafave, who teaches reading in the Tampa suburb of Temple Terrace, was arrested there last week on lewd and lasciviousbattery charges, accused of having sex with the teen earlier this month at her apartment and in a portable classroom at Greco Middle School.

Reading? I would think she would be a PHYSICAL education teacher! Get it? PHYSICAL! Education! Because having sex is physical. Like…having intercourse would be considered a PHYSICAL act. That's all I meant. Okay sir, calm down. Sir sit down or I'll call the police.

She was out on bond on those charges when she turned herself in Monday in Marion County, about 80 miles north of Tampa, where the cousin lives. There, she is charged with lewd and lascivious battery and exhibition. She was released Monday on $25,000 bail.

Lewd AND lascivious?! Granted it's lewd, but lascivious?! Granted I don't know what lascivious means, but lascivious?! Please.

Her lawyer, John Fitzgibbons, said he was not ready to respond to the allegations. “There is a presumption of innocence in this country,” he said.

Hahahahah. Fitzgibbons. What sort of bizarro hybrid last name is that?

The teen told investigators that he and Lafave got to know each other during a class trip last month, and their sexual relationship began June 3.

Man I always wanted to sit next to the hot teacher on the bus during field trips…but I never had the guts. I coulda gotten my deek slucked after all…

The boy told detectives that Lafave told him that her months-old marriage was in trouble and that she was attracted to him because having sex with him was not allowed.

Awww…that's kind of romantic. A forbidden, yet gentle relationship. Why is it that this girl gets in trouble for sleeping with a 14-year-old, but 21-year-old males like myself can have sex with as many 12-year-olds as we please? It's just not fair.

Lafave, who has worked with the Hillsborough County school system for two years, has been placed on administrative duty and could be suspended without pay at the next school board meeting, officials said.

“Mrs. Lafave I'm sorry to have to do this to you, but after hearing about your sexual escapades I'm bumping you down to…administrative duty.”

“NOOOOOOOOO!!!”

“Yes I'm sorry. Now take that stapler out of your ass and let's go.”

In Marion County, authorities say Lafave had sex with the student in the back of her sport utility vehicle while the cousin drove them around the Ocala area.

This type of shit wouldn't have happened if Lafave chose to drive an electric vehicle. When will we realize that we must reduce our dependency on foreign fuel. We're just fucking our children over!

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