From Betsy Haynes, critically acclaimed author of a bunch of dumb shit my girlfriend reads, comes this chilling thrill ride masterpiece of absolute crap from the year of our lord, 1994.
The Sexy Adventures of Bad Byron, for lonely housewives. Not at all endorsed by the manufacturers of Bad Byron's Butt Rub® Barbeque Seasoning in any way.
We accidentally made two clones of Sigmund Freud, so we put them in an empty room and recorded the conversation. Somehow this must be relevant to academic psychology.
Tired of your tax dollars paying for other people's birth control because you're not having sex with them? Or was it because of that thing someone said in the Bible somewhere?
When asked to describe my religious beliefs when I first joined Facebook, I simply typed the sentence, "It involves spaceships and LSD." Now I'm the founding prophet.
We need to stop raping my childhood by trying to remake awesome movies I loved growing up, and start remaking the ones I don't give a shit about.
The following is a transcript from the weekly radio talk show American Heroes, hosted by Jonathan Gaylord. It has been edited for content by the FCC.
Are you longing for sexy good time with hot lady? Are you grow tired of bad rejected because girls no like? Change your life! Learn becoming sex ninja in three easy steps!
Nothing like a good southern trespass to get you going first thing in the morning. Go ahead and drop your pants around your ankles and get on all fours like a dog.
The Wish Master Charity is an exciting new non-profit tax racket designed to bring joy to terminally ill children with totally unreasonable and often physically impossible demands.
Where has Global Warming truly gone? It is not dead, but dreaming. It lies in wait to punish the wicked. The Bible clearly states that Global Warming is the product of Satan.
Look, marriage is all God this and God that... well guess what: I AM God. So you can either marry ME or you can go screw yourself and die alone. All marriages are hereby banned.