Brent Vanguard's Fantasy Camp for the Tragically Poor is a regular hobo heaven, designed by cutting edge architects to mimick the perfect ghetto utopia.
Okay. So, um...you're all alone in the motel room. You're sitting on the bed. You're watching porn and you're starting to get hard. And those dwarves are just tearing that bitch up. There's seven of them.
Brent Vanguard's Six Demon Bag Cock Power Penile Enhancement System contains ingredients like powdered unicorn horn, centaur semen, and dragon wang that will give you a monstrous trouser snake!
The bridesmaids surround me, watching like hawks. Gossip and Promiscuity trade whispered secrets as they stare at me. But I was too busy staring at The Bride. In horror.
Ladies, tired of making babies the old-fashioned way? What a hassle! With the E-Z Bake Baby Clone Oven, you can create all the babies you want in less time than it takes to make an omelet!
Believe it or not, we here at the Church of Satan for Homosexual Chickens don't mind that you slaughter chickens to feed the masses. But why the fuck are you closed on Sunday?
Due to recent civil lawsuits, we here at the National Yogurt Association have been forced to make public certain classified information regarding our operations. This is not pleasant.
Congratulations to Timothy Richardson of Baltimore, MD for winning this year's big Rapture lottery. Don't worry, there's another one coming during the 2012 Mayan Madness Festival!
What is Cosmic Voodoo? It's magic! And where does magic come from? Space! And what controls space? Science! And what's more powerful than science? Voodoo! Cosmic Voodoo!
I like everything about sluts: their slutty clothes, their slutty conversation, their slutty company...the whole slutty package. I am strongly pro-slut.
Listen, people of Detroit, I know you think having a statue of Robocop is really cool, but I have a dark vision of the future! Robocop shall be the seed of your undoing!
I've been out of the bear suit for too long. I owe it to the world to make 'Wicker Man 2.' The wait is almost over. Get ready, people: the bear is back.