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You’re telling us that our beloved home--a place where many Hagen-Hogan BrätBoy Brats™ have been happily consumed--isn’t worth your time?
Kevin’s voice sounds like Dad’s. Except it cracks walls and sets off car alarms, and also he accidentally stepped on a school bus.
While UBO might not be part of the “Ivy League,” it is part of something called the “Platinum Preferred Double Points Club."
Stranger Tier: The stranger package has been updated to eliminate basic greetings and small talk.
A ménage à deux, so to speak. After all, the only thing better than sex with nobody is sex with somebody.
Day 2,121: In my book, only cowards change their email when a better and more convenient option becomes available.
The man thought of all the places he had seen “For Sale” signs. He had seen them in boutiques and department stores and flea markets.
A childhood love of swords became an adulthood of arguing with my spouse about turning our foyer into a showroom of my medieval cutlery collection.
And she did reply, "No, they are of no concern to us. Let them wander in the desert. We shall begin… Project Babylon."
If you care deeply about results and have at least four buddies named Tyler, we can’t wait to meet you.
I’m not stalling, I swear, I just need to Google best-stretches-running-question-mark.
Dear Future Pulitzer Winner: Out of our hundreds of submissions, not a single one has the cachet to pull our magazine out of the pit of tedium.