Humor writing published daily. Featured: Best of Year | Editors’ Picks | People’s Favorites | Satire | Guides | Observations | Stories
While internet dating is fundamentally pathetic and wrong, it is becoming a great way to meet like-minded losers who fear a lonely death as much as you.
I've heard the question asked too many times to count: Why do the assholes always get hot chicks? As a pretty cute girl, allow me to explain.
Dear Evolution, we've been through a lot together, from slime to monkeys to Canadians to humans, but I have a few gripes to settle with you.
When I first met you, you seemed like a normal guy. After 3 weeks, I now know that you may very well be the annoying child of Satan.
Justin Timberlake has just been cast in The Social Network, a look at the invention and rise of Facebook. Have they jumped the gun with this movie?
Yes, you, who hates the world's ignorance. You, who likes to judge the rest of the world for conforming. Get over yourself.
With confirmation that I would be the first pioneer of this new line in fetishism, I now needed to actually find a willing female participant to let me pee in her butt.
I thought it could only happen in pornos, but in the darkness of the parking lot I witnessed my first female ejaculation.
I'm pretty sure the death of my pink rabbit vibrator was less a result of faulty workmanship and more that of user abuse, or overuse.
<p>A few days ago I saw a sign advertising a 49-cent breakfast biscuit special at a local fast food slop hole, a deal which for a lot of us is too good to pass up. At face value, it seemed like a pretty good deal. That is until you start adding up what it really was going to cost you. </p>
I joined the police in 1987 hoping they'd provide me a weapon I could use to kill my ex-wife’s dog. Turns out I was natural police material.
Dear Fred, I'm sure by now you have realized I'm gone. It's not that I didn't love you. I did. We had some really great times in the early days. But I couldn't wait for you anymore. -Wilma