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I make minimum wage at a dead end job. Part of my job includes interacting with you. This means my job fucking sucks. Here's how you can make it worse.
How can the markets recover with its hands tied behind its back? The only solution anyone with common sense could come to is to deregulate Wall Street. COMPLETELY.
Groups that sum up the little things in life, but I'll never expend the energy to create. Like, 'No matter how stocked the fridge is, I never want to eat anything in it.'
My Humanities degree wasn't enough to prepare me for the prospect of the real-world, competitive unknown. Fortunately, I resembled a missing pro tennis player.
All the dusty, gold-plated, tomboy-shaped trophies that define how cool I used to be are, sadly, probably sitting on the shelves of poor children who didn't earn them.
Ladies and Gentlemen, it is an honor that you have all finally decided to recognize my accomplishments this evening. Now SUCK MY DICK, ASSHOLES!!
On my list of the most difficult challenges I have ever faced, getting back in shape after an eight-month hiatus from the gym would rank way up there.
American youths are steadily being eroded into douchebags, techno-geeks, and new age hippies. Here are the worst things chipping away at the next generation.
We all love our dogs. But there is a very real and frightening issue of the growing communist threat. Here are five ways to tell if your dog is a Pinko.
Thank god summer will be over in a couple of months. It feels like Earth has a GPS system, and someone programmed its destination to be the center of the sun.
My name is Mr. Bob. I'd like to welcome you and your child as we begin another exciting year here at "St. Bob's International School of Profoundly Deep Thinking and Spiritual Uprightness."
In an attempt to single-handedly save humanity from the impending arrival of zombies, I have compiled a survival list. Start preparing now, before you're eaten alive.