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At the Deep-Seated Mentality Driving School, we pride ourselves on initiating drivers how low their brethren can sink, and how they must be prepared for the worst.
Gone are the days when "fuck" was socially shocking. My generation has even started to use these words as sentence filler, as if they were the new "uh" or "um."
I don't understand the concept of the handicap in golf. The more you suck, the more strokes you can deduct? What if I can't play at all? Do I automatically win?
When selecting a truck, always remember the golden rule: the bigger, the better. This rule will apply to almost everything we talk about, other than your tank top.
The world has wept for Cecil the Lion. But what about Thurgood, my overfed Siamese fighting fish? My friend left him to die and certainly this deserves as much attention.
A terrified young virgin will be forcibly restrained while her heart is ripped, still beating, out of her chest, while she endures an unimaginably gruesome demise!
You step into the ocean and wonder what insensitive, sociopathic creatures are swimming around your feet. They can all do you harm, and they probably will.
We need a new bandmate who can lead an interview. WE CAN'T DO IT!! MUSICAL TALENT IS NOT REQUIRED TO JOIN THIS BAND. In fact, please ONLY be charming.
"I will build a great wall - nobody builds walls better than me." Take a look around, "I am the least racist person there is." I simply think black people shouldn't have kids.
Anytime a man gets a good look at a woman he's never seen before, there is an involuntary question he is forced to ask himself: Would I bang her?
The aroma of cargo shorts and freshly purchased lanyards is already filling the air. Here is some first-hand knowledge and advice for incoming freshmen dudes.
Have you ever wanted to start playing the stock market? Here's a list of signs to look out for in your everyday life and how to interpret them for investing purposes.