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With the precision of a casino dealer cutting a deck of cards, I scooped two large scoops of vanilla ice cream and put them into the frosty mug.
The man you know as "Mike Pence" doesn’t actually exist. I'm just a guy who never got tagged out of an improv scene from 1979.
Can you feel that burn? Well, ignore it. That’s just one of the servants of Satan trying to enter your body through your navel.
The President shall enjoy full immunity while patting his head and rubbing his stomach at the same time.
I will be sure to keep you updated on all the social metrics. I still care about you, and the kids (our kids), and our social media numbers.
I have also been told by several superiors that I have "a lot of potential," and that they'd like to see my potential "put to good use."
I refuse to ghost on you like your past relationships with Blockbuster and Hollywood Video. But I fear we've reached our final act.
If I had made it through the dramatic events of that April night, I would have died anyway since the last Titanic survivor passed away in 2009.
Sometimes, when you brew coffee I get flashbacks of how you’d sit with your feet inside me as you discussed search engine optimization.
In conclusion, communism doesn’t work in practice, please don’t hurt my family, keep it under 1,000 words.
Imagine if we depicted all of humanity as tiny, pink, whiners with aggressive tendencies. Your species would not appreciate this behavior.
We were just trying to make a good movie that everyone could enjoy, and we never meant to hurt your feelings.