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Yankee Candle's “Slow Burn” -- Put a Yankee Candle procedural on and let the stock characters and soothing storylines melt your stress away.
Mina, it's me Drac! 479 is the new 35! Please message me back. I’m going batshit crazy without you.
She went on an all-inclusive vacation with her girlfriends last summer. She got double the number of Facebook birthday messages you did.
I love to kick back and escape my many problems by throwing on some real archival footage of a man who horrifically murdered his entire family.
In hindsight, you probably should have spent more time tilling the ground than posting seductive selfies in your gardening hat, but that's okay.
We’re not doing this online, it’s too easy, too predictable (plus I’m not allowed to get online for 18 more months, minimum).
Tear open an envelope. If you discover a dollar bill, you’re having a boy! If there’s only 81 cents inside, a girl is on her way!
Half the time now I am awfully lazy, and scroll through my phone ever so much. John says I mustn't lose my mind reading article after article.
Imagine the home-field advantage for the SF Identity Thieves as their mascot "Guccifer 7.0" announces credit card info of the opposing players.
Can you introduce me to any shadowy figures who run the government here?
The book mentions a reoccurring nightmare of his, where Bigfoot would chase him across an endless plain, demanding he fill out a brief survey.
My girlfriend first noticed the absence of romance while I was in a stained dressing gown, digging wax from my ears while reminiscing about my ex.