Am I kinky? Better believe it! When it comes to sex, I simply love the stuff. I’d say my kink is definitely sex.

Having sex turns me on, and I don’t care if society doesn’t “get it”—sex just feels good to me, ok?!

Here’s a little peek into my debaucherous lifestyle: If I’m sexually attracted to someone and they’re sexually attracted to me and we’re in a consensual sexual situation, well they better hold on because they’re about to find out I’m a “sex person.”

There’re a lot of “normies” out there who say things like, “Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever filed your taxes on time?” Well I do file my taxes on time and if I had to choose, it’d be pretty tough, but I got to say I’d go with sex.

I read that kinks are typically formed during childhood. Well I have a good relationship with both my parents—that’s probably why I’m super horny for regular ol' mom-and-pop sex stuff. Bet you’ve never heard of that before!

That’s right, I’m a total freak.

I like sex so much, I’ll have it anywhere: a king-sized bed, a queen-sized bed, I’ll even sex on a twin mattress as long as I’m getting punished with sex. My favorite sexual position? I’d have to say I like them both!

I’ll never forget the first time I had sex, because I’m pretty sure I had it. It was an awakening, a revelation. Sex was it for me. Totally the cat’s pajamas. And I should know, because I own a pair of cat pajamas. Call me depraved, but I’m going to have a sex fetish for life!

And yeah, I’ve “done it” with more than one person—because as it turns out, I’m not alone when it comes to being into this whole sex thing. Oh yeah, we’re everywhere: concerts, the grocery store, the office. The next time you’re sitting on the train, look to your left, look to your right: if you don’t think that one of those people has a kink for sex, then it might be you.

Twisted sex fantasies? Yeah, I got ‘em! Sometimes I’ll be out with my friends, spot someone and think, “Dang, I bet they’re into sex, too.” I’ll start daydreaming about taking them out on three to four dates, establishing a foundation of mutual respect and comfort, and eventually asking them over to my apartment to eat vegan vanilla ice cream and watch The Office. I’d manically tease them by waiting all the way until the very end of the episode, and then—boom—maybe sex.

I don’t care who knows it: I’m a bonafide sex-head. Arrest me and throw me in sex jail, I don’t care! Actually, please don’t—I’m not into handcuffs in the bedroom. Also, sex jail sex sounds scary and way out of my comfort zone.

Which reminds me, if anyone is going to go down this road of bizzaro kink play, it is important to establish trust between you and your partner. I myself am pretty open minded: we can totally have regular sex.

If things are getting a little too intense, just use a safe word. Mine is “Starbucks Gift Card.” Don’t worry, I’ve never had to use it 😉


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