If you haven’t been living under a rock on the shores of Guam for the past 3 years, then you probably know how popular the avocado has become. From spreading it on a piece of multigrain toast to smearing it on your skin and calling it an “organic face mask”—the avocado’s likability has been skyrocketing amongst 20-something’s worldwide. But, honestly, it’s lost some of its magic.

That’s why we think it’s time for the avocado to get the heck out of the limelight and introduce you to the newest superstar food: the Durian fruit.

Are you sitting down? Because we’re about to take you on a mental journey to the continent of Asia—home of the prestigious Durian—and explore all of its incredible benefits…

According to a Wikipedia page I skimmed over, the Durian fruit is the record-holding “smelliest fruit in the world,” likened with rotten onions or even sweaty feet. Now, you tell me, what records does the avocado hold? That’s right, none.

Described as “fleshy” and “spiked,” the Durian fruit is the perfect ingredient for all of your Instagram-worthy meals. Simply cut open the husk and individually peel the fruit out of several complex, interior pod structures. The process should only take a handful of hours, which pretty much pales in comparison to fumbling to remove the slippery pit of an avocado.

The Durian, or, as I’d like to refer to it, “the heavy-weight champion,” can weigh upwards of 7 pounds. After monopolizing the scale at my local Trader Joes for an entire afternoon, I calculated that the standard avocado weighs in at a mere 6 ounces. Isn’t it time to let the world know how much you can really bench, bro?

But before you think about lugging your Durian fruit home on the subway, think again. Not only is the Durian available in the U.S exclusively at Asian markets and specialty shops, it’s also banned on public transportation due to the aforementioned stench. But, don’t let this discourage you! Do you know what else is banned on public transportation? Dogs that can’t fit inside of a handbag. And we still love those guys.

Fun fact for all you dare-devils out there, the Durian fruit is armed with sharp thorns, capable of drawing blood. And that’s pretty badass.

Let’s talk about numbers, people. Here are the cold-hard facts:

The Durian fruit is high in fiber, low in cholesterol, and practically roof-breaking in fructose. Not sure what fructose is? It’s essentially sugar—like Stevia, Splenda, or whatever the chemical stuff companies put into Laffy Taffy is. Now, you might be thinking, “isn’t too much fructose bad for you?” or “wait, are you implying that I’ll get Type II Diabetes if I eat Durian fruit? It feels like you’re implying that.” To that I say, remember a second ago when we were talking about how great it is that Durian fruit is low in cholesterol? Let’s focus on that.

Still skeptical? In a 2012 study conducted on mice, Durian fruit relived coughing and congestive issues. Why were the mice coughing in the first place? I don’t know. I didn’t even know mice could audibly cough. But let me ask you this: have you ever coughed? If you’ve eaten Durian fruit, the answer is probably no.

In fact, you don’t even need to eat the Durian to get benefits from it. You could play a game of catch with it, use it as a flotation device, or even put it on top of your head like a cool, avant-garde hat.

Look, I’m not going to end by saying that avocados are part of the problem with our money-hungry capitalist society, but we can all agree that they are pretty overpriced. On the other hand, a Durian fruit is only about $30 (plus international shipping rates) and that’s a steal.

The avocado might be the snack of 2018, but the Durian is the gosh-dang meal of 2019. Why? Because it’s 1,350 calories.

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