The following is the accounting of the latest meeting of the Conspiracy Theorist Support Group, which took place on [REDACTED] at [REDACTED], located at [REDACTED].

18:00 [REDACTED] calls the meeting to order

18:02 [REDACTED] reads the minutes from the last meeting for approval

18:04 Minutes are not approved as [REDACTED] has challenged the accounting and believes that someone has edited the minutes

18:10 [REDACTED] accuses [REDACTED] of saying this because they are a plant from the government

18:15 [REDACTED] calls for a recess and dismisses everyone for cookies and punch which were kindly provided by [REDACTED]

18:18 One half of the group which is lead by [REDACTED] refuses to eat any snacks because they can’t trust what’s inside them

18:19 The group that chose not to eat snacks has gone outside to smoke and vape

18:25 [REDACTED] calls the meeting to order again

18:26 Before any of the topics can be discussed, [REDACTED] claims the group that returned from smoking and vaping doesn’t look the same as when they left

18:27 [REDACTED] accuses [REDACTED] of having a forked tongue, which [REDACTED] informs the rest of the group is the only thing that lizard people cannot cover up when they are in human form

18:29 [REDACTED] says the only reason [REDACTED] is accusing them of being a lizard is because of the neurological implant they received when they got their flu vaccine

18:30 [REDACTED] takes offense to someone saying they received a vaccine

18:33 The argument between [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] has spilled over to the entire group

18:38 The argument is interrupted by a ringing phone

18:39 [REDACTED] realizes it is their phone and silences it

18:40 [REDACTED] sees [REDACTED] silence their phone and notices the 5G symbol

18:41 [REDACTED] throws a punch at [REDACTED]

18:42 [REDACTED] says that [REDACTED] has the same punching style as Jeffrey Epstein

18:43 The group is trying to pull the mask off the face of [REDACTED], who they now think is Jeffrey Epstein

18:45 [REDACTED] is saved when [REDACTED] stops everyone by telling them that this is what George Soros wants so he can weaken them

18:47 [REDACTED]’s mom opens the basement door and yells for everyone to stop

18:48 The group starts putting chairs and tables back into place. [REDACTED] grabs a mop to clean up the spilled punch

19:00 [REDACTED] reviews the events that transpired and announces the date and location of the next meeting, which will be on [REDACTED] at [REDACTED]’s house since [REDACTED] said their parents are gone for the weekend

Secretary’s Note: This may have been our most productive meeting to date.